Mother’s day is this weekend. While many people have plans to celebrate with their mom or will be celebrating being a mom with their kids, there are many people who won’t be celebrating at all. This message is for those who will not be celebrating Mother’s Day.
As a mom, I realize just how special having children is. It is a wonderful gift to have a child and probably the most fulfilling and incredible experience I have ever had. I have often told my kids that for me, Mother’s day is a chance for me to celebrate them. Sure I was the one who helped in their creation, but the real honor is in what my children have taught me and the great amount of unconditional love that they have given me.
There are many people who have a mom that they are not close with. I understand the struggle of trying to forge a close relationship with your mom. This was my experience and I spent many years feeling heartbroken and unsure of my value as a person. Feeling close to my mom was such an effort, and I took it personally. I was so envious of people who had a close bond with their mom. I thought something was directly wrong with me because a close relationship was so difficult. I felt as though my mom was disappointed with what she got as a child and often times I felt as though she wished she hadn’t had me.
As a mom myself, the experience of having children has been very healing for me. I spent most of my youth certain that I would never have children because I felt I wasn’t good enough and I didn’t want to pass on another bad relationship to my own kids. My ex-husband had a huge family and there were a million kids that I got to know. They really enjoyed my company. I really enjoyed being surrounded by kids. My feelings for having children slowly changed.
This is what I have learned that I want to pass along to you. It’s not you, it’s your mom who has the issues. You were born because of your mom’s choice not your own. You should have experienced unconditional love, support and nurturing. The fact that you are here should be celebrated. My relationship with my own children is nothing like what I experienced growing up. Having kids has been healing for me because I was able to view things from a mom’s perspective. I honestly can’t imagine pushing my child away, making them feel in any way unwanted or unloved. It breaks my heart just to think about anyone being treated in that fashion.
Please be kind to yourself this weekend and celebrate the fact that you are here. You matter and you are special. This is my special message to you. You have so much to offer and that should be celebrated. I hope that you can view Mother’s Day as a day in which to honor yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you have achieved. Honestly without the children there would be no such thing as Mother’s Day. I for one will be celebrating the fact that I was lucky enough to have children. They have given me unconditional love and taught me so much. This is their day and I will be honoring them.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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