Article by Wendy McCance
Have you ever faced a rough patch with your children? Something happening in their life where you were unable to do much other than show support, give advice and hope they pull through their difficult time? I was recently put to the challenge.
One of my daughters was having a difficult time with a friend. Watching what was happening was truly painful. My heart broke watching my daughter navigate through a rough situation. When kids are young, there is so much for them to learn when it comes to friendships. Knowing who to trust with your most personal feelings, learning about loyalty, compassion and when a friendship has run its course are all big life lessons.
One of the difficult parts about parenting is knowing how much you should get involved and when to stand back so your child can do their own growing. I really believe that working through these issues are not only character building for the child, but for the parent as well. These are the moments when your values come into play. What advice you feel your child might benefit from is crucial. These are the moments when you hope your beliefs are solid and that your advice is wise.
When my daughter was working through her situation, I felt helpless. I wanted to protect her and stand up for her, but it would have been ridiculous. These were girls who needed to figure out their problems on their own without parental involvement. All I could do was be there for her.
It’s funny how you end up reflecting about your own youth. What you went through and how you handled it. Would you have changed anything you did in the past? Have you grown into a better adult? Do you value your way of handling rough situations enough to offer advice?
My daughter is doing much better. The bad times were over quickly. I believe my daughter is wiser and more confident because of what she went through. I also believe I am better for the experience as well.
As your children grow up, another layer of yourself is growing up alongside of them. What makes your children stronger and wiser is having a similar effect on you as well. I am grateful for the strength I have gained while standing alongside my kids as they grow up.
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