Article by Wendy McCance
One of my children has been going through an incredibly rough time recently. There has been some upsetting moments with friends. It is affecting their self-esteem and performance in school. Lets face it, it’s hard to be a kid. There are moments when times are touch. When bad things occur, things can spiral out of control fast. Feelings get hurt more deeply. The learning curve is quite high because of a lack of experience. It’s painful to watch your child suffering while trying to get past some bad experiences.
I always seem to have books and magazines scattered throughout the house. They map out the places I have been in my home. Any time I get a break, out comes some book and an opportunity to catch up on something I have been interested in reading.
One of my magazines has a great article on the phases you go through when having a positive or negative experience. The article came with a chart that I loved. I have always felt that seeing something when times are tough makes a bigger impression than hearing or reading something.
I cut out the chart and went to talk with my child about their recent struggles. The chart phases are listed below with an explanation of what I told my child.
I spoke with my child about how although they were in a bad situation, they couldn’t recognize that it was a bad situation.
I reminded my child how they got upset about the way they had been treated and how they handled it.
We talked about how when the friend tried to hang out with them, they were not interested in being with them or speaking to them.
This is where my child is currently. They are trying to understand why their friend didn’t treat them like they had treated their friend. There is a lot of hurt trying to understand why people don’t always act in the way you wish they would.
This will be the next step in getting through the situation my child is dealing with.
The chart worked well for my child. I pointed out each step they have faced. I was able to visually show how far they have come. The best part was being able to show them that the future looks bright. There are positive emotions on the way. They have weathered the worst of the storm and will get through this.
My child’s response was one of relief. They saw the end in sight where they saw no end before. It lifted my child’s spirits to be able to see how much work had already been done and that the good times were soon to come.
Kids have so much to learn and deal with when times are tough. This chart was brilliant because it makes sense. It was relatable and best of all gave my child hope that all wouldn’t be horrible forever.
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