Learn How To Get Past the Fear and Achieve Your Goals

Double Rainbow over Morro Bay CA 24 June 2010-2

 

 

 

 

 

Article by Wendy McCance

I have done a lot of thinking about fear recently. I have seen how fear can devastate a person and create a situation where the person stops moving.  I began questioning what triggers fear in a person and how someone can get past the fear and be productive again.

When a person is triggered by fear, there is something deep within them that gets stirred up.  Something  is unresolved and has left a mark behind.  Whenever they are triggered, the walls go up and the body shuts down.  Panic sets in and depression soon follows.

How does someone climb out of such a bad place?  How do people get past this and find a way to become productive again?  I have dealt with this situation numerous times, and my solution is to move.

Movement is the only thing I know that can begin to break down the paralyzing fear. The problem with movement is that it is emotionally painful.  When you become depressed, everything in your system is telling you to stop.  You become frozen.  The only way to get moving is to face the fear and let yourself feel some anger.  You need to feel the anger of self-sabotage.  You need to recognize that you are letting outside issues cloud your perception of what you are capable of.  You need to face the fact that you can be so much more than allow yourself to be the victim of whatever stirred up the fear in the first place.

If you have ever faced this situation I am describing, you know it’s little steps that begin to put a dent in the unhappiness.  The more you push yourself to move, the more the bad feelings begin to fall away.  Somewhere down the road, your energy picks up again and you find yourself back on solid ground.

I choose to face fear straight on.  Trust me, I have had more than enough opportunities to challenge myself because of bad times.  What I have learned is that I  welcome those scary moments now.  Those are the times when I realize that something important is going on.  If I can get over the hurdle that is blocking my way, I will achieve a tremendous amount in return.

The worst feeling you can have when fear gets its grip on you is not knowing what to do.  I think at the core of these challenges, not knowing how to proceed is what keeps us immobilized.  When you get stuck and have no idea how to move forward, grab a piece of paper and do this experiment.

Answer these questions:

1.  What do I want in my life?

2.  Why am I feeling held back from getting what I want?

3.  What can I do to change my situation?

4.  What is one small goal I can easily achieve this week?

 

That’s all you need.  Here’s an example of how this list could play out.  Let’s say you are miserable because you are not making as much money as you wish you would make.  Using money as the example, let’s answer the list.

 

1. What do I want in my life?   I want more money in my life.

2.  Why am I feeling held back from getting what I want?  I don’t know how to get more money.

3.  What can I do to change my situation?   I can look for another job.  I can get a side job.  I can network and let others know I am looking for a better job or an extra side job.  I can offer services or sell items on eBay.  I can have a garage sale and use the money to start a savings account or pay off bills.  (Just go on and on and let the ideas flow).

4. What is one small goal I can easily achieve this week?   This week I am going to mention to friends and family that I am looking for another job or a side job.

 

That’s all it takes to get you moving again.  The more questions you ask yourself, the more answers you will have.  Once you begin to get some answers, the creativity will begin to flow and you will feel like you have jump started your brain into action.

Use these four questions for anything you are stuck on and I guarantee it will help you get moving again.

Wendy McCance

Wendy McCance is a Michigan based freelance writer and social media consultant. Wendy has gained attention as the founder of the popular blog Searching for the Happiness which can be viewed in 9 local papers online, including the Oakland Press. The combination of writing skills and social media knowledge is what makes Wendy such a powerhouse to work with. Stay tuned for opportunities to advertise, guest post and as always, have your questions answered.

To contact Wendy McCance about a writing or social media assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: mccance.wendy@gmail.com

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2 thoughts on “Learn How To Get Past the Fear and Achieve Your Goals

  1. Thanks again. Authentic and helpful passages from you once again.

    I’m finding some people these days are so stuck/disillusioned/impatient … as to initially reply to #3 above with “I can’t do much of anything to change my situation”.

    For them, I’d likely add to it … like this: “What can I do to change my situation — or change how I now feel?”
    -*-
    Some have now stopped taking steps they see as unlikely to quickly reach the results they want. Even when small steps seem unclear, we can still 1) identify how we feel and 2) do something for ‘ourself’ about this -*- as ‘well’.

    ‘Taking care of ourself by caring for our feelings’ is powerfully anchoring & motivating.
    It equips us with the critical stability, clarity & patience … to take steps -*- when and as we are ready -*- to proceed to ‘change the situation’.

    • Hi Jay, thanks so much for your comment. I think that sometimes it’s harder having to stand back and watch someone you care about struggle with this than going through it yourself. It sounds like you have experienced that same feeling of wishing to help someone. There is not much that can be done after encouragement and suggestions. It’s a frustrating place to be. Thanks again for your always inspirational comments.

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