by Wendy McCance
I have a question to pose to you. Let’s pretend for a moment that your significant other goes on business trips on occasion. When they are on their trip, do you miss them? What was the first thing that popped into your head? Now look at it this way, you are the one that occasionally goes on business trips. Do you miss your significant other when you are gone?
This question came up in a discussion with a good friend the other day. It really got me thinking about when people might miss each other, why they miss each other and if it is a healthy response in a relationship.
I think that when you are the one that is away, it is much easier not to miss the one you love. There is so much going on that is not typical of your daily life. Your focus is elsewhere and missing someone isn’t something you tend to pine over while gone necessarily.
When you are the one at home, you are used to routine. Part of that routine revolves around your loved one. Maybe it is that you are used to the help you receive around the house. Maybe it’s being used to having the person you love snuggling up to you when you go to bed. Maybe the house just feels too quiet without your loved one there.
That being said, what about the healthiness of missing someone. It came up in the discussion that security might play a major role in how much you miss someone. If you are content in your relationship and the trust between the two of you is strong, I believe that you might miss your significant other less. You know that they will be back and just as happy to see you. Life will go on without so much as a nick in the relationship.
If on the other hand, you have had unstable relationships for instance, it doesn’t matter how good your current relationship might be. The past might still haunt your thoughts and the insecurity will creep in. You might be more unsure about your future and having your significant other away can bring up feelings of uncertainty you didn’t even realize might be present.
Of course this is a great generalization. There are all sorts of variables to this topic. I am trying to make it as bare bones as possible just to get you thinking.
Do you think that if you miss someone it might be a sign that you have some work to do to establish a stronger sense of faith that all in the relationship will be well?
Of course there is the type of missing someone where you just think that it would be nice to get back to your life at home. I am not talking about that, I am referring to the type of missing someone where you are jumpy and anxious for them to get back home.
I really like this subject because until the other day while talking with my friend, it had never occurred to me. I have personally formed the opinion that the level at which you miss someone directly aligns with the stability you personally see in the relationship. I think of it as a gauge to determine where your relationship is at. It’s an opportunity to see if you have any personal work to do to gain confidence in yourself and create a better sense of trust between you and the one you are with.
What do you think? Do you believe that my theory is totally out of left field? Do you think there is some merit to what I am describing about a relationship? No matter what, I think it’s a pretty interesting topic to ponder.
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