What Type of Parent are you?

Mud Hen or American Coot (Fulica americana) feeding her baby

Article by Wendy McCance

My kids call me overprotective.  They think that I worry too much and hold on too tight at times.  I understand why they say what they do.  The kids have spent half their time with their dad.  Over there, there was very little parental concern.  The kids spent way too many days watching themselves when the oldest was just out of elementary school and the youngest was in kindergarten.  They were given free rein over bedtime and countless other things that were in sharp contrast to the way I have been raising them.

Look, I’m that mom who is very schedule oriented.  The kids will come home from school, get a snack, do their homework, eat dinner about 5:30pm and go to bed at 9:00pm.

I like that the kids know what to expect.  I want the kids to feel safe, protected and loved.  They need to know that they have a parent who is being a parent.  That their job is to just be a kid.  I wish that they never had to wonder when a parent would be home, when or what dinner was or if they were making it themselves.  Being alone at bedtime with no one to tuck them in or read them a story breaks my heart.  Although I hate to see them grow up so quick, I am grateful that they are now older and better capable to take care of themselves.

On days I have the kids, I stay in the car when I drive them down to the bus stop.  The youngest are in middle school now, but it is still somewhat dark out and I want them to be safe.  I am thrilled to see that there are a few other parents doing the same thing at the bus stop each morning.

My daughter was asking me why I was so overprotective the other day.  Compared to my mom, I am extremely laid back.  Even so, I was almost kidnapped at the bus stop when I was young.  My ex-husband knew of a girl who walked up to a party store and was abducted.  I am just fine with being a bit overprotective.  I would rather be more watchful than regret something I should have done.

I do have to mention that as the kids have gotten older, I do my best to give them some extra room to grow on their own.  I might not let my middle schoolers go hang out at the park with friends on their own, but they can go to the library to study with friends or shop with friends during the day in some small communities downtown districts.

So, yeah I am overprotective.  I know it and will openly admit it.  Even upon reflection, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Wendy McCance

Wendy McCance is a Michigan based freelance writer and social media consultant. Wendy has gained attention as the founder of the popular blog Searching for the Happiness which can be viewed in 9 local papers online, including the Oakland Press. The combination of writing skills and social media knowledge is what makes Wendy such a powerhouse to work with. Stay tuned for opportunities to advertise, guest post and as always, have your questions answered.

To contact Wendy McCance about a writing or social media assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: mccance.wendy@gmail.com

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12 thoughts on “What Type of Parent are you?

  1. I’m overprotective too. It almost killed me when my son left after graduation (he was 17) for the Air Force. They took him away in only the clothes he had on, and then they mailed them back to me. We weren’t allowed to contact him in any way.. It was awful. My poor daughter is now 27 and STILL has to call me when she gets home from a trip & she usually calls me everyday after work when she can. Better safe than sorry… there are just too many deviants out there these days. 😀

  2. I too was called an over protective mom. I had good reasons, and while I hadn’t been a victim of a possible kidnapping, I was abused when small and saw some of the worst society has to offer. Now that my children are grown they have admitted that I did the right thing and they plan to do similar things with their children, although we all know the world was safer when they were little.

    • I’m so sorry about what you went through as a child. i really appreciate your comment. It’s great that your children let you know they appreciated the way you chose to raise them. 🙂

      • Don’t be sorry, I am the person I am because of how I grew up and have thought many times how I might have been different, but I would probably have been selfish or some else that I wouldn’t be proud of being.

        • This is what my kids say to me. I have had so many moments where I have felt so bad about some of the experiences the kids had to deal with. The kids are such strong, independent self-assured people. They have such kind hearts and are so appreciative of every good thing that comes their way. You sound so strong and self-assured yourself. 🙂

          • My children were the turning point in my life, I needed to be the best person I could be. The funny thing is my children always saw me as strong. My oldest when 12 bought me a necklace of a Native American Bear fetish which represents strength and gave it to me with a speech telling me I was the strongest person he knew. I wore it every day until it broke now I have the design tattooed on my left forearm to remind me when I feel like giving in to frustration. Their belief in me made me a better person and it sounds like yours did similar for you too. We are so lucky.

  3. Wendy – my girls are now grown and have children of their own ranging from kindergarten, middle school to high school graduate. My heart goes out to them working through the challenges of the difficulties with raising children today. I think what’s hard is that there are such huge contrasts.

    On one hand, there is so much freedom, independence and information, which is good. But on the other hand comes such grave dangers and rightfully so parents want to protect and enforce restrictions. I see the constant struggles between both camps and the dancing between the two.

    All I can say is keep the lines of communication open and let them know they are loved and safe like you’re doing. It’s got to be so hard for them too with the type of peer pressure their facing, high expectations and fast pace of life.

  4. I can identify with being an overprotective parent. I see as a necessary attribute to parenting, especially these days with the rate of abductions. Also, as you indicated children do need structure. I think it makes for a more balanced adult eventually.

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