Article by Wendy McCance
I was in the car this morning on my way to an appointment, listening to the radio. Flipping channels and not finding any songs I wanted to listen to, I landed on a talk show channel. The topic was erasing your memory. If you were given an opportunity to erase the bad memories, but the good memories would be lost too, would you do it?
My instant response to the question being posed was a big NO. My reason had nothing to do with losing any good memories either. The reason I would never want to have my memories erased is because I wanted to remember the bad times.
I literally went through years of horrible experiences that back in the day I would have given anything to erase. The pain, fear and desperation I felt was just too much. I was drowning in these feelings and felt a sense of hopelessness. I understood at the time that what I was going through would make me stronger and more resilient over time. At the time I was experiencing these issues, I didn’t care. I just wanted to run away from all that was bad.
Having lived through those rough times and having sat on the other side for several years now, I have a new perspective about what I faced. I can trace each bad moment to a better decision. I can see the trail of desperation straighten out and turn into a trail of hope and optimism. I am now living with a sense of success I could have never imagined I would feel back in those times of sorrow.
The most important aspect I keep coming back to as to why I would never want my memory erased is appreciation. Because of a horrible marriage, I have a much deeper appreciation for what a good marriage is. Because I only saw my children half of each week because of a joint custody arrangement, I appreciated every moment I had with my kids like it is was my last moment with them.
I have an ability to feel great amounts of happiness in the very smallest of moments. My happiness is almost child-like because it fills me up with so much joy. I can sit on my front porch, listen to the birds, breathe in the smells of summer and feel completely content. It takes so very little for me to appreciate all that surrounds me. I can feel magical amounts of happiness that can make my heart soar with gratitude.
So, even if the only memories that would be erased were the bad ones, I just wouldn’t do it. I worked hard to get where I am at. It took countless tears, finding a way to fight past the fear and some fierce determination to turn around situations that I felt would never get better. It took finding my soul and listening to my heart to get me pointed in a direction where I could be open to love again.
I am so fotunate to have found my way. I have an incredible husband who I never take for granted and who takes care of me in the most loving way I never thought possible. I have found my way and landed in a career I had only dreamed about as a child. I had given up that dream years ago feeling it was just not a possibility for me to pursue.
I know know that anything is possible, happiness can be had by anyone. It’s really not a wish people carry around, but a reality that can be had. I do think that the happiest people are the ones that struggled the hardest and found their way to the other side. They are the people who can appreciate the good that has found its way into their life the best.
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