Article by Wendy McCance
It’s funny how history can repeat itself. Back when I started blogging, my health was not the best and I wasn’t sleeping well. I began doing a lot of soul-searching back then, and would then proceed to write. I wrote at all hours of the day and night. It was almost obsessive, that need to type out my thoughts. Two years later, my health is a mess again and I am turning to my blog. It’s 5:30 am and I haven’t slept yet. I am wide awake and feel as though I got a full night’s sleep. I am a little anxious because not sleeping equals increased pain from the fibromyalgia. At the same time, I am happy to have this quiet time to write while everyone is still asleep in the house. It’s peaceful and I’m weirdly content to be typing away.
There are some things in life that you just know for sure. I remember wondering how I would know when I was in love (for example). I heard the advice, you’ll know it when it happens so many times, but still questioned that line of thinking. Years later, I know it to be true. A doubted relationship ended in divorce and then the person I was meant to be with showed up. I just knew we were right for each other. We fit together so easily and understood each other so well. I was afraid to remarry because after a divorce it’s simply a natural fear, but I was never afraid to give my heart to my husband. I just knew he was the love of my life.
A funny thing about just knowing something is right when it appears is that the same advice works for all the loves of your life. You might question what job is best for you, but when you fall in love with what you are meant to do, you just know it’s what you were searching for.
I love YouTube. I love it because I can watch videos of people I admire and listen in to many these people tell their tales of how they got to their goal and the wisdom they learned along the way. Not too long ago, I noticed a pattern between all of the people I was drawn towards. Each individual had found a career that made them feel whole. It was what they were meant to do in life. They just knew that they were heading down the right path and pursued their dream with the excitement of a child playing with their favorite toy.
I might not be the best writer or even the best storyteller, what matters to me is that I am a writer because I can’t stop being one. I am drawn in so deeply that it is addictive. I don’t feel my best unless I write and the more opportunities I get to tell another story the more comfortable I feel in my own skin. It’s just the most natural feeling and it makes me feel when I write. Once I realized what writing did for me, I was forever changed. I will always be a writer because it’s who I am. I just know this.
What fascinates me is wondering how far I will end up going with the knowledge of who I am. I want to learn so much and try so many things in the writing arena. I feel that the possibilities are endless and it excites me quite a bit.
Watching videos on YouTube of the people I admire, there is one thing that I always end up thinking about. These people are so consumed by their career that it takes over the majority of their life. Some people sacrificed ever getting married, having children or having much of a social life outside of their career. They just wanted to do their job as much as possible. In one way it seems like such a lonely life, but in another way, they seemed so very satisfied and fulfilled to do what they loved each and every day. Strangely, I understand the feeling of wanting to shut out the world and focus solely on writing. Maybe it’s a personality trait of a creative mind. Admittedly the people who I wanted to learn more about were all artists of one form or another.
There are times I have wondered if I would have been able to focus so intensely on my craft that I was willing to sacrifice marriage, children or other relationships that might take too much time away from following my passion. I guess the question is, would I have the ability to focus so intently that I wouldn’t be lonely. Could I have been satisfied working so diligently on something so solitary? Are some people meant to take one aspect of their life and stretch it out as completely as possible to see how far they could go with it? Can this be incredibly fulfilling to be so narrowly focused?
Personally, I have curiosities, but no regrets. I feel lucky to have been able to find a terrific man, have children I adore and do a job I love each day of my life. I do believe that if my passion hadn’t been a solitary one, but instead a career like being in a band, I would most likely have been able to handle the sacrifice without the loneliness. I would probably welcome the times alone because I would be with other people so often. As far as knowing what job you were meant to have, seriously, you will recognize it without a doubt when you find it.
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