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Article by Wendy McCance
Years ago I went through an extremely tough few years. I was getting a divorce. The process went on for much longer than it should have. The fighting was endless and the fear I felt for myself and my children’s future was overwhelming.
During that time I learned a lot about myself. The most important lesson I took away from that awful experience was that I wanted to live a more peaceful life. I wanted to be surrounded by people who were drama free. I wanted to be able to wake up each day and feel happy. I wanted my children to find contentment in their lives.
It was a slow process of looking inward and honestly evaluating who I chose as friends, what type of relationships I could have with family members and how I could find the happiness I was looking for.
I began by figuring out what I wanted my days to look like. I thought about how I wanted to be as a mom and what the energy in the household felt like. I sorted through friendships and distanced myself from people who lived for the drama. I refused to let my ex-husband pull me into his stress-filled world by ignoring those moments when he would try to bait me into a fight. I filled my house with a good energy. Our house became a home filled with good friends and family and lots of laughter. Holidays became big family affairs that we would host. A lot of good memories were built in those years after divorcing.
I had health problems to contend with and money fears I needed to destroy. It became my mission to find my life’s passion and to live a life with as little regret as possible. I wanted my kids to see that anything could be accomplished with hard work and dedication. I wanted to show them that life didn’t need to be so brutal. Sure obstacles get placed in your path from time to time, but it is the way you handle them that speaks volumes.
There are still moments when my emotions get the best of me. I still have times where I will handle a situation poorly and look back with regret. The difference is that now I think more before acting on a feeling. I evaluate how I handle what is thrown in my path and make decisions about how I worked through it and if there was possibly a better way.
I am still growing and learning. It’s a lifelong process. Each year my life feels a bit less weighed down compared with the year before. I can see myself carving out a more fulfilling life and it excites me. I think about what type of energy I am attracting and am pleased to see that the good moments far outweigh the bad ones.
I am grateful for having gone through the miserable experience of a divorce because, it has made me a better, much happier and a more fulfilled person. I am a better mother, I appreciate the little things and I am more determined than ever to make all of my dreams come true. Don’t get me wrong, I would never wish a divorce on anyone. It hurts the kids horribly and the pain is unlike anything else I have ever been through. But, even in the worst of times, you can learn a lot about who you are and what you are meant to do with your life if you just look inward.
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