Article by Wendy McCance
My daughter has a horrible habit. She worries needlessly. She has the ability to get wound up easily without thinking about the possibility that there might be a solution to any particular problem.
Today I went with her to register for another year of school. She was given her schedule and then began to stress out. She had seen her schedule on the computer a few days earlier. She had compared notes with some friends who were also anxious to get a jump-start on their schedules. She had loved the schedule she saw and knew that several friends would be in a few of her classes with her.
The schedule she received today did not show some of the same classes on it as the schedule online. Immediately she went into doom and gloom mode. She said that this would be her worst year ever. The teachers were awful, no one she knew was in her classes and all the extra curricular activities she had picked out weren’t on her schedule. After I took an extra breath and finished an eye roll, I told her not to worry and that we would figure it all out.
We got home, got on the computer and compared schedules. Sure enough the schedules were different. I called the school to find out which schedule we should rely. We ended up going back up to the school to discuss the schedule in person. We were able to figure out what her actual schedule was without much effort.
In the midst of my daughter’s doom and gloom moment, she had complained that she would be in a math lab again this year. She went on and on about the uselessness of the class. She didn’t understand why she had the lab since she was getting a B in math. After a while, she mentioned that her 5th grade teacher thought she would benefit from the math lab and put the suggestion in for the middle school to review. Finally my daughter admitted that although it was, in her opinion a waste of time, she did learn a few things that needed clarification. She said that after she got that information under her belt, the rest of the year was a waste.
I put in a note for the counselor to give me a call so we could discuss my daughter’s progress and if math lab was a good choice for her to continue in this year. By this point my daughter saw that I was tackling all of her worries and that everything she had complained about I took seriously and was willing to look into for her. She understood that she might have a schedule that wasn’t exactly to her liking, but just seeing me take her feelings seriously was enough to calm her down and better deal with the situation.
What I am trying to instill in my daughter is that she needs to go with the flow and calm down. Things aren’t always going to be exactly the way she might like, but it’s usually not nearly as bad as she makes it out to be. With a calm head she can work through any situation that doesn’t thrill her and usually come up with some sort of solution that eases the problem. Once my daughter calmed down and really thought about how she felt, she realized she had overreacted and that life wouldn’t come to an end.
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