Mother’s day is this weekend. While many people have plans to celebrate with their mom or will be celebrating being a mom with their kids, there are many people who won’t be celebrating at all. This message is for those who will not be celebrating Mother’s Day.
As a mom, I realize just how special having children is. It is a wonderful gift to have a child and probably the most fulfilling and incredible experience I have ever had. I have often told my kids that for me, Mother’s day is a chance for me to celebrate them. Sure I was the one who helped in their creation, but the real honor is in what my children have taught me and the great amount of unconditional love that they have given me.
There are many people who have a mom that they are not close with. I understand the struggle of trying to forge a close relationship with your mom. This was my experience and I spent many years feeling heartbroken and unsure of my value as a person. Feeling close to my mom was such an effort, and I took it personally. I was so envious of people who had a close bond with their mom. I thought something was directly wrong with me because a close relationship was so difficult. I felt as though my mom was disappointed with what she got as a child and often times I felt as though she wished she hadn’t had me.
As a mom myself, the experience of having children has been very healing for me. I spent most of my youth certain that I would never have children because I felt I wasn’t good enough and I didn’t want to pass on another bad relationship to my own kids. My ex-husband had a huge family and there were a million kids that I got to know. They really enjoyed my company. I really enjoyed being surrounded by kids. My feelings for having children slowly changed.
This is what I have learned that I want to pass along to you. It’s not you, it’s your mom who has the issues. You were born because of your mom’s choice not your own. You should have experienced unconditional love, support and nurturing. The fact that you are here should be celebrated. My relationship with my own children is nothing like what I experienced growing up. Having kids has been healing for me because I was able to view things from a mom’s perspective. I honestly can’t imagine pushing my child away, making them feel in any way unwanted or unloved. It breaks my heart just to think about anyone being treated in that fashion.
Please be kind to yourself this weekend and celebrate the fact that you are here. You matter and you are special. You have so much to offer and that should be celebrated. I hope that you can view Mother’s Day as a day in which to honor yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you have achieved. Honestly without the children there would be no such thing as Mother’s Day. I for one will be celebrating the fact that I was lucky enough to have children. They have given me unconditional love and taught me so much. This is their day and I will be honoring them.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Thank you so much for this post, it was much needed to hear. I LOVE your blog, I found it through linked in, and you have a new fan! I have shared this site on my social networks and am subscribing to your email list because it is so inspiring. Keep up the amazing work and if you ever feel bored and would like something to do I encourage you to check out my blog http://www.withoutalabel.me I love any and all feedback. I am new to this blogging thing and would appreciate any words of wisdom from a pro like you. Like I said, keep up the amazing work and God Bless!
Thank you so much. You made my day! I would be happy to check out your blog. I wouldn’t say I was a pro though. I have only been blogging since the middle of Feb. of this year so I am still finding my way. Take care, and thanks for the support.
I wasn’t lucky enough to have a good relationship with my mother. She hated me because my father abandoned her and me when I was born and she resented me for that. I lost her in 1993 and I felt numb-not knowing whether to sob or feel relieved. But in looking back, I realize that she was very courageous for keeping me in a time when unwed mothers were scorned and shunned. I have a new-found respect for her and wish I still had her around. Thank you for this post.
Your welcome. I’m so sorry that growing up was so hard with your mom. You sound really wise for seeing things the way you do. All the best.
Thank you so much and God bless.
I like what you had to say about celebrating your kids!! Terri
Really its great that ur reading remind me bout mothers day’ im very very far away frm my home but im goin to call my mom right now its hardly 9 min for mothers day happy mothers day to u n all
Thanks so much.
I really needed to see this post. It is basically a response to the blog post I intended to write tomorrow. Thank you so much.
I’m so glad. Take care and have a wonderful weekend.
In case my Mother’s Day dedication poem did not post earlier, I’m posting it again as a gift to all those wonderful mothers who know how to raise alert, responsible children. “No one should do harm to a child. There should be no battleground here, no victim or casualty; the child should be protected at all cost. The light of Heaven is seen in the face of a child.” DGFORD
See dedication for Moms below:
Your Fair Child
by Don Ford
Here lies the child
All fresh and new;
Cradled in your arms,
Precious, warm, and true.
Believing eyes look up.
They’re trusting, clinging too.
A love beyond all measure -
Full of life that’s needing you.
In order to survive,
The child must have you near;
To feed, and bathe, and clothe,
To comfort, laugh, and cheer.
Your lives will twine together,
Revealing two-fold strands;
As every day you care for
This child placed in your hands.
Blessings on all the Mothers and their children. :-} D.
Where eagles fly,
Don (Greywolf) Ford
Native American Storyteller and Short story Editor and book cover artist
Hi Don, Thank you for the beautiful poem. Have a great weekend!
What a lovely post! Happy Mother’s Day, Wendy!
Thanks. Happy Mother’s Day to you too!
Hi Wendy, Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I know that the previous generation had a different way of educating children. very different, to be exact. Despite my mother being very rigid, always been a good daughter. I still have my mother with me. I thank God for that. The values ??of person and mother I have, I got it. But mostly, instead of being harsh, be much more loving and understanding and to participate actively in the life of my children.
I take this opportunity to wish you and all mothers, much happiness and “my hat” to you. God blessed you all!
I love you Mom!
Thank you for your beautiful comment.
Very well said. I struggled with my relationship with my mom. I knew she loved me and I her but we were way to much alike to allow for a close bond. It wasn’t until later in life when I was able to let go of my own unreasonable expectations that then would allow for a healthy relationship to exist. I feel lucky to have had that. She is gone now and I miss her.
Thanks for the comment. Have a wonderful weekend.