Article by Wendy McCance
I have mixed emotions about Father’s Day. When I was growing up, I was never close to my dad. In my early years, my dad’s job had him travelling quite a bit. I would see him maybe half of each month. I would miss him when he was gone. We would fight horribly when he was home.
I grew up wishing for a closeness that never happened when I lived at home. I used to tell him that I knew why he had a second child, it was because he was so disappointed with me. I would say this with tears rolling down my face and a desperation that he would make me feel better. He never denied my words, but instead would just turn and walk away.
When I had my first child, things slowly began to change. I was 27 years old and he was divorced and close to remarriage. My daughter was his first grandchild. He softened up and really enjoyed the role of a grandfather. He treated my daughter the way I had always wished he had treated me. The care and love he showed my daughter helped in mending a relationship that I thought was way beyond repair.
I married a man who I thought was as different from my father as I could find. I was right. I desperately wanted my own children to have a strong, close relationship to their father. My heart has broken several times because of the way he treats the kids. He is not nice, says hurtful things, isn’t there for the important things in their lives and after 9 years of being divorced, is still a bitter, spiteful individual.
I remarried and somehow found the man who mended all of my bad experiences with men. I will never know how I was able to find such a good man who loves me and the kids so much. My husband was able to fix my broken heart and that of my children. He treats the kids the way I had wished my own father had treated me. There isn’t a day that goes by that he isn’t hugging one of us, saying, “I love you” or just really engaging himself into our lives.
Here’s to Father’s Day. I did not have the father I wished I had. I did not have a good father for my children. I was blessed with a husband who came along and loved the kids better than anyone I have ever known. I am so grateful to my husband.
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