Article by Wendy McCance
I had lived for 16 years with a husband who was about as dishonest as they come. He was so dishonest that after a while he truly believed his lies. His dream was always to go to this one exclusive school for college. Although he never went to this school, and although he never got more than a high school diploma, I found out years after we had divorced that he had signed up to be on the exclusive school’s website under the alumni’s section. This section was set up so that past student’s could reconnect. I was appalled that he was able to get on the site and even more shocked that he had the nerve to present himself as a former student.
Since my days of living with daily lies, I became incredibly intolerant of lying by anyone. I didn’t care how small the lie might be, it would twist my brain and the walls would go up. There was some shifting of friendships and even of family members after I divorced the man who made a life out of lying.
I have been fortunate to find some good people who have high ethical standards. My children are incredibly honest and know that lying is not something I can tolerate. Even so, there are moments that still push that button of trust and I just shut down.
My issue’s have been with people who tell the fib thinking that they are sparing my feelings. I will catch someone at work saying they did something they just hadn’t gotten to yet. In the scope of things, it can be looked at as trivial and not worth a moment of anxiety. Most people would react in that fashion and just let it go. I envy the people who can tolerate a slight dip in the truth because it seems that they can just go on with their day without giving it a second thought. For me, my brain amps up and I get this little voice saying to myself, if they can lie about the little things with no problem, what happens when something big happens?
I know that it is probably not possible, humans probably aren’t capable of seriously telling the truth at all times. Most likely, I am not as truthful as I think I am. Maybe there have been times where I was sparing feelings by bending the truth. My conscious is just most likely not acknowledging it. It does make me sad to think that people can’t as a whole be more authentic. Whenever I come across that person with the overly genuine way of living the person who truly says it like it is, I want to hug them. I adore these people who don’t play mind games and just let it all hang out.
What about you? How do you feel about this subject? Are you fed up with the fakeness that is fed to you? What about the twist on reality that some people live their life by? Maybe it’s just not a big deal and not worth your time to bother with? Where do you stand on the subject?
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