Article by Wendy McCance
Honestly, what’s wrong with people these days? Doesn’t anyone know how to communicate anymore? I am so fed up, just simply angry at the way people treat each other. People aren’t emotional punching bags for those who are feeling rotten.
Maybe I have always lived in a dream world. Maybe the world has always been a place where people can take out their distress onto others without a care in the world. No worries of the damage they are doing to those around them. Has the world always been in such a sad state?
People are always so rushed. They feel that their own time is so much more precious than those around them. You see these people everywhere. At the store in a line getting agitated if they must wait one second longer than what they had anticipated.
You see the people who are rude. No smile on their face, no pleasantries with those around them. Just barking orders and expecting others to jump. It’s exhausting, depressing and makes me lose faith when I see people who react in this way.
But, what about within families or between friends. Those you are closest to. You want to believe those are the people who have your best interest at heart. Surely they won’t yell and scream and carry on. They know how to communicate even if what they need to discuss is unpleasant or if they are just in a bad mood, right?
What gives these people the right to snap at you? Listen, you can get the exact same point across without yelling, swearing, stomping your feet or slamming doors. Why on earth would you want to put all those around you into a state where they feel they must tiptoe around you to avoid your horrible mood?
I’m exhausted. I just want to find myself surrounded by people who can take even the worst of their feelings and explain their point of view in a civilized manner. Who knew this was on your mind? Just talk about it.
The worst part about the way some people communicate is that yes, it might get someones attention, but in the worst possible way. Do you really want the walls to go up and the person to shut down? Don’t you want to feel heard and cared about. Don’t you want to feel that your feelings matter?
It’s incredible how few people get that it’s truly all in the approach. You can say the exact same words (as long as they don’t contain swearing or put-downs) and get a terrific response. Wouldn’t you like for someone to hear you and say that they hadn’t realized you felt that way? Wouldn’t it be a good feeling to know that someone wants to work with you to solve whatever is bothering you? How nice would it feel to have an ally instead of feeling that you are fighting against the person you really love and want on your side.
Calm down and breathe. Choose your words with care and consider the other persons feelings. You might be surprised at the remarkable reaction you will get from that caring person if you just give them some respect and approach them with a calm, rational tone and some well-chosen words.
If you can’t do this, than you aren’t ready to talk. Get out and take a break. Calm down. Life is too short to be pissing off those who you love and love you too.
To contact Wendy McCance about a writing assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]
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