Article by Wendy McCance
I have been pondering what type of person I was growing up and what type of person I am now. These questions have flooded my mind since I have expanded my Facebook connections to include some people I have grown up with.
I have always been fascinated by the people who have held onto the same group of friends through all the school years and well into their adult life. I have watched my own children navigate the world of growing up and the switches they have made in friendships as they have grown and changed. I am curious to know how some people can hang on to the same core group of friends through a lifetime.
I have to admit, I am a bit envious of these people. They have friends that have weathered enough ups and downs over the years that they should truly be called family. Maybe for me it was easier to jump in and out of friendships because I didn’t see any event as life long. I grew up in a family that moved around the country several times while I was very young. I got the travel bug and longed for adventure. I would get bored quickly and hope that we would move again just to stir things up and keep life exciting.
I would have to say that my early experiences with moving from state to state enhanced my ability to cut ties easily and move on to the next great thing. I didn’t learn about the power of endurance in friendships until well into my adult years. Even now, it isn’t an area I excel in.
Back to my original thoughts, I have wondered if the people who grew up with me would recognize my personality today. Would they see the smaller version of myself, or would they be thrown by the way I act as an adult?
I have gone through some incredibly tough times in my life as an adult. Yes, everyone has their share of stories and life altering moments. For me, it took hitting bottom, hard, to get to the heart of who I was and what I wanted my life to be.
Out of the wreckage of failed relationships, shaky family issues, health problems and money stresses a peacefulness bloomed. I had gone through enough moments that I could barely breathe through, let alone feel that I would survive in one piece that a new respect emerged.
The young me was insecure while acting confident and annoyingly cocky. I was good at looking down on others instead of working on myself. My love for others was shallow and easily dismissed because I felt forever was an illusion. I picked people to surround me that felt little love for me, and made it easy for me to feel little for them. Drama is something I grew up with and continued to seek as it felt comfortable to me. Of course back in the day, I didn’t see or understand any of this.
The most exact moment when my life would change in the most dramatic way was when I had children. I loved these kids so much and it became a real turning point in my life. These days if I was to look at who I am, it is with great pride that I can say I have been humbled to the point of extinguishing the cocky, superior self I once put on display.
These days you will find a soft-spoken woman who cares intensely for those around her. Her heart breaks easily for those struggling or treated unkindly. Peace is what she seeks and drama is not allowed into her world. Happiness is something that surrounds her even when faced with the basic struggles of life. She loves completely and is loved back equally well. Laughter invades her day-to-day life. Closeness with her children is unlike anything she had ever experienced in her lifetime. That closeness has now spilled over into the best relationship she has ever had with a man, the best friend she married.
Have you gone through dramatic changes in your life? Do you feel like just an older version of your younger self? I’m curious, let me know what life has been like for you.
To contact Wendy McCance about a writing or social media assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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